The Kitchen Sink
May 2024
Did you remember the dishes this morning?
I didn’t forget them.
And I guarantee you bro on the bike doesn’t forget them either.
It’s pouring buckets outside.
Meanwhile, this dude’s out here getting after it.
He’s carrying the standard.
Everybody hates it when I talk dishes,
because, generally speaking, everybody hates them.
But we all have to deal with them.
And the funny thing is…
They’re a microcosm into your reality.
I can read a lot about someone’s next 12 months based on their sink.
And if you’re fine with that, cool.
If not, keep reading.
Here’s why your sink is a mirror into your life.
If you see a problem…
and say to yourself, subconsciously, in your head “I’ll do it later.”
If that’s automatic
Not only are you teaching your brain that you’re someone who doesn’t finish what they start or own their messes,
But also you become the type of person that only handles problems when they end up hurting you or someone else.
And that’s a poor operating system for reality.
It’s a recipe for chaos.
And chaos is fine in the short term.
Every beginning is hard.
But long term, it rots your mind.
We have to raise our standards.
We must order consciousness.
And yes, it starts with your kitchen, your sink, your bathroom, and your bedroom.
No novelty.
Not hacks.
Just necessity.
If we don’t raise our standards consciously, they gradually fall to the lowest common denominator.
❝
The normal state of the mind is chaos. Unless we direct attention, we cannot expect order or meaning.
— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
We naturally run on homeostasis. Just comfortable. Just doing whatever to get by.
The brain is constantly trying to adapt to the stimuli you give it.
There’s nothing wrong with attaining comfort in a given skill or endeavor—that actually is indicative of adaptation (in terms of neural plasticity)— but staying in your comfort too long…
You lose your edge.
You start slipping.
Discipline begins to wear down, and with it, our integrity. And with that, our identity. And with that, our life.
When chaos swarms you on every side, what will you do?
Will you deform, dissolve, decay into the noise?
Will you doubt, avoid, distract in the vicious cycle?
Or will you pick up your chin, look at the dirty sink, and get to work?
Hopefully you can see the metaphor.
Order your mind, so you can actually think again, sense life, find flow in a world of constant distraction and reactivity:
Stretch: Do something hard every week. Get into a highly uncomfortable state with zero interface to distract you from the pain. You’ll find more answers there than you will in that next podcast.
Empty: Write questions to yourself at night. Don’t think, just empty. What’s in your mind. So what? What does it mean? Now what? What will you do with it? “What? So What? Now What?” — dumb simple journaling prompt I stole from Greg McKeown. (It works).
Prompt: Ask yourself what kind of standards you’d wanna set for your children, your wife, your DNA. Think in decades, not seasons. Shower prompts: What can I get excited about today? Who needs me on my A game today? How can I deliver my absolute best? What’s going to stress me out, and how will I respond? What’s one word I can model to live into my vision today? Just pick three, put them on your mirror, prompt your subconscious for flow, not rumination.
Mentorship: Find a role model, learn their life story, obsess over their principles, turn it into a GPT. Imagine they’re watching you right now, then act like that.
Do the dishes already.
❝
If your kids were watching, would they be disappointed?
I know, honest questions create pain.
But pain tends to help you find real.
The only way to solve problems is candor—unflinching, painful awareness of reality.
Change will never occur until your old ways become obviously unbearable in light of the version God called you to be.
And you can only get into that high state of pain by candor and conflict.
Sparks are only created through flint and steel moving in opposite directions. Engage the conflict. Engage the pain. It’s your doorway to the greatest progress and clarity you’ll ever experience.
Each standard is a building block of your character. And that character is your future five years from now.
You’re building it right now.
Go do something your future self would respect.
Find some conflict. Embrace it.*
Righteous Grind,
—Dittmar
If this letter serves you, share it with someone who needs to clean up his kitchen sink, or just because you respect their sink. Either way.
*Don’t go looking for fights, control your violence.